Let's finish.

This is weird. Blogging is one of those things I'm supposed to want to do--but since I've gotten back to the states I just haven't wanted to write the final one. Hmm. Anyway, let's do one last update about my feelings now. I do love feelings.

1) America goes really fast. Like, really really fast. I'm amazed at how scheduled everything is. There are some parts of me that got really excited about this because I have the organized-teacher brain. On the other hand, it also made me really frustrated. We have to be places on time? There are time limits for things? People really care about that? Oops. Where's the time to sit and reflect? Oh yeah, we waste that.

2) I have a love/hate relationship with Walmart. I missed it so much in Africa but now when I go back I keep thinking, "We need all this stuff? Do we really? Why would I want that? Why would I even think about spending that much money on that thing?" I also missed the organization of Walmart, but since they've done remodeling, it just doesn't feel like home anymore.

3) I miss my kids. I miss their smiling faces.

4) People are really important. Africa taught me this in a big way. It amazes me that I've so easily reverted to American ways in regards to people. In Uganda, people talk for hours and I enjoyed those conversations. Here, I've started getting annoyed when conversations last over an hour. Actually, that's not completely true, but it's more true than I would like for it to be. I need to be African when it comes to people.

5) There are more bugs in America than in Uganda. And I just got my first sunburn of the summer--here. Yikes.

6) I miss the simplicity and lack of distractions. At the same time, I've really enjoyed having the ability to log into facebook multiple times a day just because I can.

7) Narcissism is a disease.

8) I went to Uganda thinking that God would show me more about a missional calling, or at least more about what he was going to do with my life. Nope. I know less now than I did before. God's funny that way.

9) How is my life changed? I'm not even sure that I know. I'm different than I was, I can feel it, but I really can't put it into words. At the same time, I'm also more like my old self than I would like to be. Does that make sense?

10) I've decided that I want to adopt. Children, that is. And some dogs. And maybe a husband--but I don't think you adopt those.

11) I feel like America puts everything into boxes and categories, including things that don't fit into boxes and categories. They even do it to God, which blows my mind. Africans don't do that because they realize that God is a big guy. You won't meet very many just-on-Sunday Christians there. Yes, many of them don't have their doctrine right, but they see God as someone who should be revered where many American Christians see themselves as the one who should be revered.

12) I think that I won't stop being homesick until I'm truly home.

13) CEREAL IS AMAZING.

14) The "muzungu" feeling hasn't worn off yet. I still feel like people are staring at me like they did in Uganda and they just don't say "muzungu". I realize that this isn't true (or maybe it is and I'm just more gorgeous than I thought) but I'm still incredibly self-conscious. For the first week I was back, I also had a fear of being in crowds. It was weird.

15) It's strange not to have to work for things. Getting things in America is easier than it should be, which is why we have a lot of spoiled people. I wasn't as annoyed with this until I came back and watched others whining about the most mundane things and being overly critical about things that don't really matter.

That's about all I can think of for now. Off to new adventures!